


When You're Falling in a Forest

by benblatt



Series: when you're falling in a forest [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, M/M, TW: Suicide, TW: falling out of a tree, TW: overdose mention, The Orchard, before so big / so small, but after conversation w/ the murphys, evan and connor are both dead, mostly angst, not really - Freeform, with a hint of fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 00:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18862516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benblatt/pseuds/benblatt
Summary: Evan and Connor meet on the other side.





	When You're Falling in a Forest

**Author's Note:**

> TW: read tags!!

"What the fuck?" Evan hears a voice as he opens his eyes. He's at the orchard, which is going to be starting reconstruction soon, laying on the ground. He looks over to see-

"Connor?" Evan mumbles, looking up from where he was laying on the ground. His head was pounding, and his neck felt a bit stiff. His hair felt matted and like there was something stuck in it, but he couldn't move his arms.

"What the fuck?" Connor repeats. Evan squints his eyes as he looks at Connor, as if he doesn't believe that it's him standing there. He's standing above him, eyebrows furrowed.  


"Am I dead?" Evan asks. Connor tilts his head to the side.

Connor ignores his question. "Did you fall from up there again?" He points up towards the large tree they were both next to.

Evan nods slowly. Connor squats down next to him. Evan hears a rattling in his pocket, sounding like a bottle of pills. He gulps.

"You uh," Connor pauses. "I think you're dead, Evan."

Evan doesn't respond right away. "It w-worked?"

Connor's face pales. He nods slowly. Evan's eyes widen as he scrambles to get up, but he still _can't move_.

"Why can't I move?" Evan asks. He's shaking slightly, and feels like he's going to cry.

"You just had to give it a second. Here, let me help." Connor reaches down, grabbing Evan's hands and pulling him up. Evan looks down and sees his body laying there on the ground, even though he's standing up now. He looks down at his hands and sees that he’s still, well, him, just a bit transparent now.

"Thanks." Evan mutters. "Am I really dead?"

"Yeah, I'm almost positive. Uh, hey. Do you wanna talk about it? You know what happened to me, or whatever."

Evan shakes his head quickly. "No."

"Okay." Connor nods. He looks around awkwardly before his eyes land on Evan's hair. "You have tree branches in your hair."

Evan reaches up and tries to brush them out but they won't move. He pulls slightly, but it only causes his headache to grow worse.

"I think they're stuck. I think you get these little things that remind you of what you did? Like how you, uh, when you, well, you know.." Connor's words jumble as he trails off.

"Oh. Uh, that's.. interesting." Evan bites his lip, looking away.

"Yeah, I uh, I have this rattling?" Connor moves his leg so the rattling is heard once again. "It's cause I, uh, I overdosed? So I have to deal with that. And since you uh, well, jumped out of a tree, you have branches. Like, in your hair. Obviously."

"Oh, that k-kinda sucks." Evan huffs. Connor nods in agreement.

"Yeah, a bit."

They don't say anything for a minute, trying to think of something to start a conversation about. Connor's the one who finally breaks the awkward silence.

"Hey," Connor starts. "We should probably get away from here. They're gonna find you soon and you probably don't want to watch that."

Evan nods slowly, not really sure what else to do. Connor grabs his hand softly, leading him away from the tree. Evan couldn't stop listening to the small rattling noise as they made their way to wherever Connor was taking him. They walk down the trail for a while until the two are standing in front of a small river.

"Here." Connor releases his hold on Evan and leans down to pick up a rock. He hands it to the other boy and grabs one of his own. He sits on the ground, patting the spot next to him. Evan does so cautiously, his knee brushing against Connor's. Evan tries not to flinch as he tightens his grip on the rock he's holding.

The brunet skips the rock across the river, watching as it hops two times before falling in. A ghost of a smile falls on Connor's lips as he picks up another one. He throws it again, watching as it skips, then falls.

"Your turn." Connor turns to Evan. The blond blushes at the sudden attention. He usually didn't like it, but for some reason, Connor's gaze felt familiar. He didn't mind it as much now.

"Oh, I uh, I don't really know how?" Evan admits.

"I'll teach you." Connor scoots behind Evan, grabbing his hand gently. "Throw with your wrist, not your arm."

Evan does as told, watching as it flies across the river and onto the grass on the other side.

Connor laughs. "Maybe not so violent. Let's try again." He picks up another rock and places it in Evan's hand. He guides Evan's wrist once again, and Evan makes a point not to throw it as hard. It skips once before sinking into the river.

"I did it!" Evan exclaims. He looks behind him at Connor, who squeezed his hand.

"You did." Connor lets go of him and moves to sit next to him once again. He skips some more rocks as Evan looks around. The blond scratches his head, accidentally brushing one of the branches.

"So," Connor leans back in the grass, looking down at his jeans. "Are you okay?"

"Uh, do I look very o-okay?" Evan asks. 

"Not exactly." Connor pauses. "Hey, I know how you felt. How you feel. If you want to talk to me, you can. You have before." He points out. Evan shrugs.

"I guess that was a bit more by force." Evan says. Connor winces.

"Yeah. Sorry about that."

"It's okay. There isn't a-anything you can do about it now." Evan mumbles. He glances at Connor before looking back down at the arm that once had a cast on it. "Do you think my mom's gonna miss me?"

"Yeah." Connor says without hesitation. "You didn't talk to her or anything?"

"No. A-After what happened with your family, I just came straight here. She probably doesn't want to see me."

Connor shakes his head. "Evan, she's going to be _devastated_."

"N-No, I'm only doing her a favor. She'll be grateful." Evan argues. His attempt is weak though, voice filled with tiredness. He's tired. He's so _tired_.

"Evan," Connor looks up at him and places a hand over his. "She's going to be completely ruined."

Evan pulls his hand away quickly. "W-Well, why are you all up my ass about it!? You uh, you didn't stop to think about how everyone else was going to feel when y-you did it!"

Connor narrows his eyes slightly. "Because they don't give a shit."

"Yes they do! They miss you so much, Connor, whether you realize it or not!" Evan exclaims out of desperation. He raises his hands in the air from frustration, knocking one of the branches. He yelps, jumping slightly as he realizes how loud and aggressive he was being. "I'm sorry. I just, I just w-wish you had the chance to s-see it before you d-died." Evan admits, defeated.

"I-" Connor cuts himself off, gaze back on the grass. Evan could tell he didn't have the energy to argue either. "Okay."

Evan takes a deep breath and places a hand over Connor's once again. He squeezes it softly, looking back out at the river.

"Do you want to talk about it yet?" Connor asks quietly. Evan shakes his head no and Connor nods.

"Later."

The two sit in silence until it's broken by the sound of sirens in the distance. They both look at each other, Evan tensing up. Connor squeezes his hand softly as an attempt to comfort him. "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay. Focus on me. I'm right here, Evan."

"Why are you staying with me? After everything I've done to you and your family? Why didn't you just leave me here to die alone?" Evan blurts out.

Connor sighs. "What you did was really shitty, but," He bites his lip, shifting a bit. Evan hears the stomach-twisting rattle once again. "I thought you'd want a friend, or at least a familiar face. I know I would of."

Evan looks up at him, hesitantly leaning over to hug him. He tightens his grip when Connor doesn't push him off. "T-Thanks, Connor. You have one too."

"For real this time?" Connor asks, slowly wrapping his arms around Evan. The blond rests his head on Connor's shoulder carefully, trying to avoid the branches sticking out of his now matted hair.

"For real this time."

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in my drafts for song long... so enjoy! lmk if i should like, make a sequel or a series out of this :)  
> oh and follow my instagram @/mkefstxoxo hehe  
> see ya next time!


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